Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If that was your dad, he is hot
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
