I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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