I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I am one with the molecules
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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