but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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