Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
