I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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