Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
