using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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