she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
