Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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