okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
