She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
