My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
