Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
