So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
