need another drink. this is the easiest way
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
two words...techno handjob
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
