he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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