3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
