and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
