sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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