Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
