dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
we made out on top of his cat.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
