Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
