hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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