Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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