Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
