That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize