where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
