big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
