i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
