I love black thongs
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
