Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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