You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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