Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
