I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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