yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
