it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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