I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
