Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
