so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
