the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We got so high we made milksteak
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
