gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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