Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
