party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
