my mouth tastes like poor choices
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
