I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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