Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
