i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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