I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Randomize