BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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