I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
