Well douche your snatch and let's go!
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Randomize
