I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
