i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
