he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
