I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
