I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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