Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I pour the whiskey from now on
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
