wat bout pragnant strippers??
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
