OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
