Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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