Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
