I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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